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MEMORIES, 2021

Memory noun /ˈmem.ər.i/

  • The ability to remember information, experiences, and people. ‘She has an excellent memory for names.’

  • Something that you remember from the past. 'I have vivid memories of that evening.'

 

This series started with a table. It was made in Munich, we bought it while we were living in Bucharest, we brought it to London and eventually to Chalgrove (Oxfordshire). Somewhere during the four house moves, the wood waved, and I cut it down to make a smaller table and set of shelves. In the end, I dismantled the set of shelves and kept the pieces of wood. Looking at them, I couldn't help but wonder: What do I really remember about them? If I look at a piece of wood that was part of the table, do I remember the whole table? Do I remember how many times we used it? Do I remember what we ate or drank on it? Do I remember how it felt when I put my hand on it? And actually, what does it mean that I remember? Am I going back in time? Do I have exactly the same sensations as in the past? Do I feel the wood now, or do I feel it in the past? Can I feel in the past? Can I feel the past?

Memory, noun /ˈmem.ər.i/ is, according to the definition provided by the Cambridge Dictionary, “the ability to remember information, experiences, and people” as well as “something remembered from the past." The ability to remember and the ability to see ourselves in relation to time come more or less unsurprisingly, for time is relative to our human minds; it is made by the human mind. None of the past or future exist outside of the human mind; they are only present and real in our thoughts in every now moment, and they depend on each individual human mind.

While we seemingly remember the past in the now moment, we are in fact recreating, or better say creating, it over and over again while maintaining a relationship and a devoted interest in our relationship to the past pretty much every time, neglecting what is happening in the present right now, continuing to return as we go forward.

When we are consciously bringing our pieces of memories into the present moment, it is in fact not the past we are looking at but a new creation in the right now moment using elements, pieces of information, using puzzle pieces, from seemingly other “connected” things.

Remembering is as selective as perception, being its past tense. It is a perception of the past as if it were occurring now and still were there to see. Not only is the past fairly remembered and undoubtedly not seen in every minute detail, but it is not even identical each time we recall it, for once we (re)create the past, it is illustrative of the present self and emotionality and acting beliefs. In what we call the past memory, the experience might have been pretty different according to the beliefs that were active at that particular time; while the beliefs are different in the present moment, in remembering the past, it is only relevant what we feel in the now moment.

Now, everything we experience as physical reality is but a dream; the “physical person” that you believe you really are is but a dream; your body is but a dream. You are the dreamer of the world of dreams, where you have placed the body as the central figure. It has never had another cause and never will.

The difference between reality and dreams lies not between dreaming the world and what you secretly dream, for they are one. The dreaming of the world is but a part of your own dream you gave away and saw as if it were its start and ending, both. However, it began with your secret dream, which you do not perceive, although it caused the part that you see and do not doubt that it is real. How could you doubt it while you lie asleep and secretly dream that its cause is real?

You dream of a separate ego and believe in a world that rests on it. For you, this is very real. Many of the ego's symbols are present in your dreams, which have caused you confusion. However, that was merely a result of your not knowingness while you were asleep. When you wake, you will see the truth all around you and within you, and no longer will you believe in dreams because they will have no reality for you.

While asleep in the dreaming world, the memory retains the message it receives and does what it was given to do. It does not write the message, nor does it indicate what it is for. Like the body, it is purposeless in itself. And if it seems to serve to cherish ancient hatred and give you images of the injustices and wounds that you were saving, this is what you asked its message to be, and that it is. Committed to its vaults, the history of the body's entire past is hidden there. All the strange associations made to keep the past alive and the present dead are stored in it, waiting at your command to be brought to you and lived again. And so, their effects seem to be increased by time, which has removed their cause.

Because it interprets the present in terms of the past, the ego sees the present as only a transitory phase leading into the future. The continuity of past and future, under its leading role, is the only purpose the ego perceives in time, and it closes over the present so that no rift in its own continuity can occur.

The past is the only period of time that the ego permits others to see with tranquillity and aplomb; it makes significant investments in the past and ultimately thinks that the past is the only aspect of time that is meaningful. By emphasising guilt, the ego is able to maintain its continuity by ignoring the present and creating a future that is similar to the past. The idea of paying for the past in the future makes the past the one who determines the future, ensuring continuity while preventing the intervening present from coming between them. Guilt is a way of holding the past and future in your mind to ensure the ego’s continuity, for if what has been done will be punished, the ego’s continuity is guaranteed.

There is no link between memory and the past. If you would have it there, then there it is. However, only your desire established the connection, and only you have maintained it to a point in time where guilt still seems to linger. Time neither takes away nor can repair, and yet you employ it in an odd way, treating it as though the past had made the present, which is only a result that cannot be altered because the cause is no longer there. The past is nothing, do not try to hold the past responsible for anything, for the past has passed. You cannot really not let go what has already gone.

You are not the past, and the past is not in you. You are just dreaming the dream of time. None of the strange connections you have with it have any meaning in the present. What you see as the past never existed since it is not a memory of past events, a recollection of previous events but only a recall of the present state. You mistook causelessness—the source of it—with cause. When you learn that you have remembered consequences that had no cause and could never be effects, it can be but amusing.

An empty warehouse, with an ajar door, hosts all your crumbs of memories and dreams. For if you are the dreamer, you perceive this much at least: that you have caused the dream and can accept another dream as well. But for this change in content of the dream, it must be recognised that it is you who dreamed the dreaming that you do not like. It is but an effect that you have caused, and you would not be the cause of this effect.

This world of time is the world of illusion, where a memory is like a dream in that it pictures what you wanted shown to you. The only aspect of time that is eternal is now; thus, there is no past and always has no direction

Now, coming back to the table I started from, have we ever had that table? Well … no; in reality, it never happened at all. It is just a dream I shared with my wife for minds communicate; together we only hold a picture of a past that never happened.

NOTES

The series comprises 24 installations.

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